So a week ago, out of the blue, my ex writes to me.
We exchange a couple emails, he gives his phone number (since he’d apparently gotten it changed), and in return I give mine (cause there’s NO way I’m gonna call/text him first – and I’ll admit a morbid curiosity for what he wants to talk about).
I receive a text soon after.
And out comes the WHOLE story about our summer break-up. The final explanations of why the break-up came out of the blue.
And it wasn’t for any of the reasons I thought it was going to be.
The ex liked to talk out his frustrations and worries with friends (as we all do). And he confided in one friend – we’ll call her A (important fact to remember: she was on deployement in KOREA) – about how he was worried about whether I really wanted to move to Minnesota, and how difficult it was doing a long distance relationship.
A said that no, I probably didn’t want to move, and really it would be better if we broke up. (I think you all see where this is going…)
So we break up, he’s “a mess” and a week later A declares that she wants to date my ex.
So they start dating.
But remember my fact above: she’s in KOREA, and one reason he broke up with me is because of the long distance relationship… Right.
So then they date long distance for two weeks, but she decides maybe she didn’t want to date, and they break up. He goes into super-sad-hibernation-because-he-let-an-old-friend-break-up-his-relationship mode (his words).
And that brings us to the recent texting, and the, “I was dumb, etc.” speech.
But the main reason for this post, is that I have a question for the audience. For my blogging friends.
When we broke up, one of the things the ex asked was why I didn’t “fight harder to stay together.” And with the reconnection, he reiterated this.
He stated that if I’d come to Minnesota to see him, things would be different. If I had chased him, things would be different.
To which I believe: he broke up with me.
Why should I believe that going after him would be welcome?
Aren’t the girls/guys that don’t take “we’re over” as an answer considered cray-cray? Don’t we all hate when they just won’t get it and quit?
If I chased him across the country, wouldn’t that give him the free liberty to post memes on his facebook/twitter/pinterest/every social media page depicting me like this:
But even his family wondered why I hadn’t still come out after the break up.
Of course my friends and family think that it would’ve been crazy to go.
And I still think it would have been crazy to go.
But I’m curious as to what others think. What would you have done? If you were the relationship ender – would you want them to fight harder? But why break up in the first place?
Disclaimer: There will be no getting back together will this ex; I do know that I’m better without him.