Two Roads Diverged

Life is all about choices – so which choice is coming next?

“And girl…”

on April 25, 2013

Scene: gas station. I am about to slide into my driver’s seat, having just gotten my change from filling up my car

An SUV pulls up to the pump next to mine, a man jumps out.

Man: Hey girl! How’s your day?
Me: Um… pretty good, and yours?
Man: *laughs and holds up a casted arm* Oh, as well as can be expected With this thing on girl!
Me: Oh, that sucks!
Man: But nevermind that girl, nevermind that. And girl, I don’t want your pity, I want your name!
Me: Um… I’m Jill…
Man: Pretty name girl! Jill. I like it! I’m Evon! See, that’s my real name – you’re the kind of girl I introduce myself to with my real name, not my nickname!
Me: Oh, ha, um, thanks!
Evon: See girl, I was driving by and I saw this girl with gorgeous, luxurious, long hair. And then I saw you washing your windows, and I said, ‘That girl must be single because I would never let my woman wash her windows!
Me: …WHAT?
Evon: Right, see, and girl, you’re the kind that I would pamper and I wouldn’t let you wash them windows! That’s my job!
Me: … … …
Evon: And girl, I’d treat you well!
Me.: … … …
Evon: So… can I have your number?

Shortly after I somehow managed to extricate myself (I know, it’s amazing I didn’t before with my eloquent style of talking…) with the usual lies of the-nonexistant-boyfriend-who’s-right-around-the-corner.

It kind of reminded me of the time I was asked to have someone’s honey colored babies.

But mostly, it reminded me of this, pretty much to the T:

(Another link to the same video)

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22 responses to ““And girl…”

  1. This makes me really happy that you can’t pump your own gas in Oregon

  2. MaximumWage says:

    The video got deleted!
    Also, Evon sounded pretty smooth for a guy with an arm in a cast.

  3. Bill McCurry says:

    Wow. B+ for effort, A+ for creepy.

  4. calahan says:

    So, was his job actually washing windows? Maybe he wasn’t giving you a line, just putting it out there that, hey, if you know anyone who owns a high rise, let them know that I do windows.

  5. The Waiting says:

    Wowza. This reminds me of the time some guy hit on me in an Amtrac station in Chicago. Well-played, Evon, well-played.

  6. The entire time I was reading this I was like, she better make a reference to can I have your number. I was not disappointed.

  7. [...] This happened a year or two ago, but Giggs reminded me of it with her own hilarious hit-on incident at a gas station, which you can read here. [...]

  8. twindaddy says:

    I wish I had game like that.

  9. MissFourEyes says:

    The second I read “Hey girl!” I thought about the honey colored babies guy. These guys you meet are hilarious!

  10. The Hook says:

    On behalf of all men.. I’m sorry.

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