Two Roads Diverged

Life is all about choices – so which choice is coming next?

Extreme Non-confrontationist + Two Weeks Notice = Sad News Bears

on May 3, 2013

So last week saw the epic premier of my FIFTH job.

Yes, I finally started bartending after two and a half months of patient waiting.

I was So Excited!! I mean, the store is so new we usually have 5 customers during a 5 hours period – but even with that I make more in tips than I do in 7 hours at my other main job!

Life would be sooo good!

But, instead, my life immediately fell into a hectic display of:
No time
No sleep
No food (well – breakfast and then food some 12 hours later)
Wearing the same clothes for days on end
Endless phone calls to swap shifts/cancel shifts/try to make it to everywhere on time
A haze of pain from my tired body

By the time I finished work Sunday night I was decided.

It was all too much.

It was time to quit one of the jobs.

What got the axe?

Tuesday, April 30th

I show up for my morning food running shift (it’s just what it sounds like – I run the food out to the table for the servers. Yes, I am below a server…).

It’s a rather slow day, so I get sent home a couple hours early.

*Deep breath in – and out. Walk up to the General Manager. Mantra in my head: I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit*
Me: Um…
GM: *turns with a smile* Yes?
Me: I have to give you my two weeks notice today-
*the smile melts off her face*
GM: What?! WHY?!
*Panic begins as she is no longer smiling. What happened to the smile?!*
Me: I… uh… well, I mean I have a lot going on-
*Her eyes start to get that big, sad look in them*
GM: But I just LOVE working with you!
*Inside dialogue: You’re such a jerk, making such a nice lady sad??? Terrible!!*
Me: Um, well, thank you-
GM: You’re one of the good ones! Why would you need to leave???
*Inside dialogue: See? She’s saying SUCH nice things about you? And her face – look how sad you’re making her. What is wrong with you?*
Me: Well, I…
*Inside dialogue: Well, I guess there is a lot going on – explain to her. EXPLAIN!*
Me: uh, I have 5 jobs-
GM: -FIVE JOBS?! I didn’t know you were crazy!!
Me: Ha, yeah, well-
*Inside dialogue: Good, good. She’ll understand.*
GM: -But we love having you here!
*Panicking more because, ugh, sadness, I just… can’t… deal… oh god… Inside dialogue: Well, you could do a bit more… I mean, you’ll only be tired right? And have no life, but it’ll make her happy – fold, FOLD! FOOOOOLLLLLDDDDD!!*
Me: I mean, I could work still!!!
*GM Smiles*
Me: If you need me to! I just… it would only… I mean… I couldn’t work the weekends…
*Smile fades. Inside dialogue: Jerk, see, she’s sad again. Now you just raised her hopes – meanie head.*
GM: I see.
*An idea forms in her head, the sadness lifts slightly from her eyes*
GM: Well, what are they? Your other jobs?
Me: Bartending-
*Sad cloud descends*
GM: -oooooh… yes, that is a good job…
*She’s crestfallen*
GM: Well, come into the office for your paperwork.

*I slowly follow behind the GM, startled at how sad she is that I’m leaving, and positively dying inside because I can’t stand making people sad*

*Inside the office sits one of the head cooks. Crap.*

*Gm talks indistinctly*

*Head cook looks up – astonishment on his face*
HC: You have to be shitting me!
Me: Um… I just.. uh…
HC: I a SO upset right now.
*More sadness?? Tears start to gather in my eyes – breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out – Inside dialogue: DON’T CRY DAMMIT! That’ll make it worse!*
GM: It’s always the good ones that want to leave.
Me: … well… I got this bartending job at a new place
HC: The new pizza place?
Me: Yeah!
*He looks at me seriously*
HC: Well, there’s been three restaurants in that spot in the last couple years. Chances are it won’t make it. Just know – you are always welcome to come back.
GM: Yes. Whenever you want.

With that the GM left the office, the Head Cook kept staring angrily/sadly and told me he’d come visit my restaurant, and the office boy marvelled over how the GM never gets so sad when other people leave.

Meanwhile, I’m feeling like a guilty jerk, trying to stave off tears because I’ve made the GM and Head Cook feel bad.

Oy vey, I’m hopeless.

The Things I Should Have Said:

  • Maybe if you rewarded good work, the good people wouldn’t leave
  • Why am I leaving? When I interviewed here you told me that although I have a college degree, you don’t think I’m up to serving tables. This new place hired be as a bartender BECAUSE of the degree.
  • I’m extremely discontent with how my schedule availability has been completely ignored

But alas, my skills at sticking up for myself have yet to get so far.

How I should quit jobs in the future...

How I should quit jobs in the future…

Meanwhile, 2 managers down.

Five more to go.

This may be a loooong two weeks…


16 responses to “Extreme Non-confrontationist + Two Weeks Notice = Sad News Bears

  1. Bill McCurry says:

    Glad you got out of there. Please don’t feel bad for them. It sounds like you laid it out for them in a clear and reasonable way. If they act sad/mad/manipulative, that’s on them, not you. People will sometimes behave that way because guilt works on nice, reasonable people who have a conscience. It sounds like you behaved perfectly–don’t let them make you feel like you didn’t!

  2. Jennifer says:

    Ouch. Hope it goes well.

  3. Oh, kid, your inner goddess must be hanging with my inner goddess because I am the same way. Spine, where are you, spine? Spine? Come back here! I will know exactly what I want to say until faced with an actual person. On the plus side, you feel bad because you’re sweet and there should be more like you. Assertiveness takes time to learn (I am older than you and still learning it!) But don’t let ‘em work you too hard. Five jobs IS a lot! Is there anyway to condense them or is the pay too low on each one?

  4. El Guapo says:

    Don’t worry about them. In the end, for the amount of effort you’re putting in over all the jobs, you should definitely cut out the ones that aren’t helping you get where you want to go.
    And it’s always nice to hear that they’ll take you back if you end up needing it.

  5. twindaddy says:

    Don’t feel bad for doing what’s right for you. It’s a lesson that took me too long to learn.

  6. The Waiting says:

    I have soooooo been there. And you’re right, quitting when the employer puts a big show that you’ll be missed sucks. At one point, I was working retail AND waiting tables. I would often get to the retail store at 6:30AM to unpack new merchandise, work a full shift there, and then go to the restaurant and work a full shift there too. Sleep was nonexistent. It was miserable, and I of course wasn’t making a lot of money. My whole body ached. You did the right thing. You really cannot put a price tag on your sanity.

  7. You did the right thing! Quitting a job (or almost anything, for that matter) isn’t fun, but you’ve gotta do what’s right for you. Five jobs is a LOT. So many schedules. So many hours. Hopefully you get a little bit of time to yourself!

  8. MissFourEyes says:

    Hey now, don’t feel bad. You’re a good person. You’re such a good person that they’re sad to see you go. A reason to feel bad would be if they wanted you to leave….

  9. girlseule says:

    Quitting jobs is always so awkward, but it’s good you got out of there, it’s not good to work too many long hours!

  10. It still counts as sticking up for yourself if you quit. I totally admire you because I’ve never quit a job! At my last one my boss and I both collectively decided that I could probably get more shifts elsewhere, so he helped me find a new job.

  11. The Hook says:

    Hang in there, pal!
    Yes, I’m not extremely helpful, but in my defence, I mean well….

  12. […] if you all remember my post about finally quitting a job, on of the head cooks […]

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