So last week saw the epic premier of my FIFTH job.
Yes, I finally started bartending after two and a half months of patient waiting.
I was So Excited!! I mean, the store is so new we usually have 5 customers during a 5 hours period – but even with that I make more in tips than I do in 7 hours at my other main job!
Life would be sooo good!
But, instead, my life immediately fell into a hectic display of:
No food (well – breakfast and then food some 12 hours later)
Wearing the same clothes for days on end
Endless phone calls to swap shifts/cancel shifts/try to make it to everywhere on time
A haze of pain from my tired body
By the time I finished work Sunday night I was decided.
It was all too much.
It was time to quit one of the jobs.
What got the axe?
Tuesday, April 30th
I show up for my morning food running shift (it’s just what it sounds like – I run the food out to the table for the servers. Yes, I am below a server…).
It’s a rather slow day, so I get sent home a couple hours early.
*Deep breath in – and out. Walk up to the General Manager. Mantra in my head: I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit. I’m going to quit*
GM: *turns with a smile* Yes?
Me: I have to give you my two weeks notice today-
*the smile melts off her face*
GM: What?! WHY?!
*Panic begins as she is no longer smiling. What happened to the smile?!*
Me: I… uh… well, I mean I have a lot going on-
*Her eyes start to get that big, sad look in them*
GM: But I just LOVE working with you!
*Inside dialogue: You’re such a jerk, making such a nice lady sad??? Terrible!!*
Me: Um, well, thank you-
GM: You’re one of the good ones! Why would you need to leave???
*Inside dialogue: See? She’s saying SUCH nice things about you? And her face – look how sad you’re making her. What is wrong with you?*
Me: Well, I…
*Inside dialogue: Well, I guess there is a lot going on – explain to her. EXPLAIN!*
Me: uh, I have 5 jobs-
GM: -FIVE JOBS?! I didn’t know you were crazy!!
Me: Ha, yeah, well-
*Inside dialogue: Good, good. She’ll understand.*
GM: -But we love having you here!
*Panicking more because, ugh, sadness, I just… can’t… deal… oh god… Inside dialogue: Well, you could do a bit more… I mean, you’ll only be tired right? And have no life, but it’ll make her happy – fold, FOLD! FOOOOOLLLLLDDDDD!!*
Me: I mean, I could work still!!!
Me: If you need me to! I just… it would only… I mean… I couldn’t work the weekends…
*Smile fades. Inside dialogue: Jerk, see, she’s sad again. Now you just raised her hopes – meanie head.*
GM: I see.
*An idea forms in her head, the sadness lifts slightly from her eyes*
GM: Well, what are they? Your other jobs?
*Sad cloud descends*
GM: -oooooh… yes, that is a good job…
GM: Well, come into the office for your paperwork.
*I slowly follow behind the GM, startled at how sad she is that I’m leaving, and positively dying inside because I can’t stand making people sad*
*Inside the office sits one of the head cooks. Crap.*
*Gm talks indistinctly*
*Head cook looks up – astonishment on his face*
HC: You have to be shitting me!
Me: Um… I just.. uh…
HC: I a SO upset right now.
*More sadness?? Tears start to gather in my eyes – breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out – Inside dialogue: DON’T CRY DAMMIT! That’ll make it worse!*
GM: It’s always the good ones that want to leave.
Me: … well… I got this bartending job at a new place
HC: The new pizza place?
*He looks at me seriously*
HC: Well, there’s been three restaurants in that spot in the last couple years. Chances are it won’t make it. Just know – you are always welcome to come back.
GM: Yes. Whenever you want.
With that the GM left the office, the Head Cook kept staring angrily/sadly and told me he’d come visit my restaurant, and the office boy marvelled over how the GM never gets so sad when other people leave.
Meanwhile, I’m feeling like a guilty jerk, trying to stave off tears because I’ve made the GM and Head Cook feel bad.
Oy vey, I’m hopeless.
The Things I Should Have Said:
- Maybe if you rewarded good work, the good people wouldn’t leave
- Why am I leaving? When I interviewed here you told me that although I have a college degree, you don’t think I’m up to serving tables. This new place hired be as a bartender BECAUSE of the degree.
- I’m extremely discontent with how my schedule availability has been completely ignored
But alas, my skills at sticking up for myself have yet to get so far.
Meanwhile, 2 managers down.
Five more to go.
This may be a loooong two weeks…